NASHVILLE, Tenn. (WKRN) — Time for a special Christmas edition of the NFL Power Rankings…
Level 4 Naughty Listers –
New York Giants (2-13) – Ten straight losses and actually look worse than that.
Jacksonville Jaguars (3-12) – Ruined the Raiders dream of picking first.
Tennessee Titans (3-12) – Allowed 335 yards rushing to the Colts. Even if you throw out Jonathan Taylor’s 65 and 70 yard TD run, that’s still 200 yards. Oy.
Level 3 Naughty Listers –
Las Vegas Raiders (3-12) – Even with virtually no talent on the field, they still found a way to win.
New England Patriots (3-12) – Off-season needs: Everything
Cleveland Browns (3-12) – Mike Vrabel couldn’t escape a three-win season despite leaving Nashville.
Level 2 Naughty Listers –
New York Jets (4-11) – Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams, Garrett Wilson, Breece Hall, and four wins. C’mon man.
Chicago Bears (4-11) – Once upon a time, they were 4-2.
🏈 TITAN UP all season long with the latest news and notes on the Tennessee Titans
Carolina Panthers (4-11) – Among the naughty listers, they show the promise towards getting off the list next year. I didn’t think this team had four wins it, but they are getting better and so is Bryce Young.
Level 1 Naughty Lister –
New Orleans Saints (5-10) – Derek Carr looks better and better every time I see Spencer Rattler play.
Lump of Coal –
San Francisco 49ers (6-9) – They are banged up, but I still cannot believe this is the worst team in the NFC West. Someone picked them to go to the Super Bowl and he doesn’t like looking like an idiot all of the time.
Socks for Christmas (yeah, it’s a disappointing gift) –
Indianapolis Colts (7-8) – They immediately took over the game when they stopped letting Anthony Richardson attempt to throw the ball.
Dallas Cowboys (7-8) – Ceedee Lamb is not a pair of socks, and neither is Micah Parsons. The rest of them, socks.
Re-gifted –
Arizona Cardinals (7-8) – At first, we thought we had something nice, but we found out they are not quite what we thought. Just like when you get a cool gift, but then find it was a “re-gift”.
The Island of Misfit Toys –
Miami Dolphins (7-8) – Just like a train with square wheels or a Charlie in the Box, this team just isn’t quite right, but it’s lovable anyway and winning games. They have won five of their last seven, with the only losses to the Texans and Packers.
Cincinnati Bengals (7-8) – Every season they do not go to the playoffs with Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase is such a waste. They are still battling, though, as winners of three straight.
Seattle Seahawks (8-7) – 0-3 against the NFC North, 8-4 against everyone else.
Rudolph Division –
Atlanta Falcons (8-7) – Michael Penix called in to guide Raheem Morris through the storm and save their season just like Rudolph saved Christmas!!!
Tampa Bay Bucs (8-7) – Just like you can’t have Christmas without Rudolph, I don’t want the NFL without Baker Mayfield. He was not perfect Sunday night, but man did he battle.
Elves –
Houston Texans (9-6) – None of these teams are true contenders, but we can’t have the playoffs without them and we can’t have Christmas with the elves.
Los Angeles Rams (9-6) – Elf
Denver Broncos (9-6) – Elf
Pittsburgh Steelers (10-5) – Elf
Dashers –
Washington Commanders (10-5) – Just like a flying reindeer, this team’s success is inexplicable.
Papa Elf –
Los Angeles Chargers (9-6) – This division honors coaches who get the job done and both of the Harbaugh brothers qualify. Jim reinvented the Chargers in one year.
Baltimore Ravens (10-5) – John Harbaugh is in year 16 as head coach of the Ravens. That’s a long time and that’s because all he does is win.
Jolly St. Nicks –
Green Bay Packers (11-4) – Rolling right along to the playoffs where they will have to prove they can beat the Lions, Vikings and Eagles.
Minnesota Vikings (13-2) – No team jollier than this one right now. They lost their starting quarterback just before the season and have 13 wins. That’s like delivering presents to 5 billion homes in one night.
Buffalo Bills (12-3) – No team is actually closer to playing in the North Pole.
Philadelphia Eagles (12-3) – Their 10-game win streak ended when they gave up 22 fourth quarter points at Washington.
Detroit Lions (13-2) – Just like nothing stops Santa from getting the job done on Christmas, no amount of injuries seem to slow these guys down. David Montgomery is the latest to be done for the season.
The Bumble –
Kansas City Chiefs (14-1) – They are just the biggest, scariest monster on the North Pole, they always find a way.